Why Christopher Moore is my favorite person ever. This morning I was blog surfing and found this:

“Solutions Day! For people who are still terrified of the coming Gay storm: Take “It’s Raining Men” off repeat on your Ipod for fucks sake.”

Love.

anyways. my phone dried out and is talkable on. The world is safe again.

I went to Neighbours Club on Wednesday because they are doing this 18+ thing every Wednesday. Well, long story short, there was a photographer there, it was hot, and now there are half naked pictures of me floating around for advertisement. Don’t judge

Last night I went to Laurel’s casa just to hang out, I ended up staying the night, because we got caught up in gossip and watching the O.C.  This morning, we ended up watching the O.C. again, and now I am sitting here, on her couch while she is at work. It is so stellar!

Also, I dropped my phone in the toilet this morning. I forgot it was in the waist of the pants…and well.. you can figure it out.  It is now taken apart and drying on Laurel’s counter. If you are trying to call me, I apologize. If you are desperate to contact me, email me at Lunalovegood@tmail.com.

Anyways, I am going to continue bumming on Laurel’s couch and indulging myself in my O.C. pleasure, and maybe raiding Laurel’s bookshelf, and maybe even talk to the mysterious other roommate living in Laurel’s casa. She has yet to come out of hiding.

I loaned out Birth of Venus a while ago, I cannot remember who I loaned it to, or even how long ago I loaned it. The Sarah Dunant portion of my bookshelf has been looking quite depressed and incomplete ever since. Today, I went to half price books and spent a whole $5 on a new copy (this time in hardback). My collection is complete and happy once again. I am also reading it once again, because I love it so much. By far, one of my favorite books!

By Sarah Dunant

Read it and love it!

I love my roommates!

At this moment, I am sitting in my underwear eating Chinese take-out. We are awesome! (My roommate is doing the same)

I pass by this vile parking garage almost every day, and every time I see it I am enraged! I can’t stand it! It is just… repulsive! It is like someone lost a bet and had to let the twacked out fucktard design this piece of crap.

Take a gander at this useless piece of pavement wasting space on this corner worse then a prostitute:

Sick dude. Sick!

Who knows what day it is by now. I am not sure what to do about it. I stayed with out smoking for a good like 4 days straight. But did I set the standards too high? really? Quit completely cold-turkey without even cutting down at first?

I don’t know which is harder; coming off the nicotine, or judging myself for not wanting to.

I think I set myself up to fail. I think that I need to at least cut it down first. I can’t go from smoking almost half a pack a day, everyday, to NOTHING and expect to succeed. Worse, I feel worse about myself because I can’t achieve this impossible standard that I have set for myself.

I think that if I cut it down to 3 maximum a day, after a while, I won’t even need the 3, 2, or 1.

I feel like crap already, so please don’t give me shit. I still intend to quit. What I did is like asking someone to swim across a sea before teaching them how to swim.

On a happier side…

I am job searching this weekend with my friend Chris. I really want to work at Pike’s Place and be around artists! How great would that be? I am super excited that I just get to meet everyone. I think I am going to go read in a park, I haven’t had a lot of alone time lately, and I think I need it.

Oh Wait…
I was told about a movie that is a must see, I saw it, and LOVED IT! It is called “They Live.” It was made the year of my birth (1988) and is amazing. Best fist-fighting scene ever, and a sci-fi that is a big “eff you” to consumerism. Check it out and let it BLOW YOUR MIND!

This is the second day of my quittingness. I feel like I am going crazy, and I probably am. I have a headache all the time, and I am really short tempered. The worst part about quitting something, is not the actual quitting, it is the arguments with yourself that make me go insane. For example:

Dialogue between Good Self (GS) and Bad Self (BS) <- HAHA!

BS: Hey, you know what you should do? Smoke!
GS: Eff no. I am trying to quit.
BS: Quitting is for losers.
GS: Shut up!
BS: Smoking is awesome.
GS: It smells like butt, and makes me smell like butt.
BS: You can’t even smell yourself anymore, so why does that matter? DO IT!
GS: No!
BS: you know you want to
GS: kinda
BS: Maybe you should just ease yourself off. One or two wont hurt you.
GS: Yes it will, because then I will just keep smoking.
BS: You suck, you can’t do it!
GS: Yes I can, shut the eff up!
BS: You’re crazy, now you’re talking to yourself. You should just smoke.
GS: AAAAHHHHHHHH!*

…and that goes on all day and night. No wonder I have a headache.

*Content edited for language.

I do have to admit though, I let the bad self win today after class. I was going crazy, I bought a pack, smoked half of one. I realized that I am being dumb, put it out, and gave the pack away to a smoking homeless man. Now he thinks I’m Jesus.

Today, I am going to wash all of my clothes so they don’t smell like an ashtray. I am going to knit like crazy, do homework, and NOT SMOKE!

Again, I am apologizing if I seem to be “not there” or a bit short tempered. You try quitting something that you do about 8 times a day, everyday, for about 3 years. It’s not a walk in the park. More like a climb up Mount Everest. (hacking, coughing, and wheezing analogies are relevant here) Please, just be patient with me, love me, and in a month, we can have a pink lung party or something to celebrate.

Oh yeah, I found a pocket Tao te Ching that I have started carrying around to help out as well. I have already dog-eared some pages that will help rid me of temptation.

“The path into light seems dark…”
No joke!

This morning I smoked my last cigarette. It was going to be last night, but I didn’t smoke last night, and I cannot quit with one left in the pack. After I dropped a friend off at work I ended my relationship with cigs. I am not quitting for anyone but myself, and this is something that is going to be quite a struggle for me. I have already started smoking less, especially in school. By bringing my knitting to class with me, I knit before class instead of smoking, let’s see if I can replace smoking with knitting all together! All I ask for is support. You can smoke around me, fine, just don’t offer me one, or give me one if I ask.

Just about every night, right before I fall asleep, I have deep conversations with myself in my head. Some may be significant, and some may not be. A couple nights ago, I decided to quit smoking. I also want to grow my hair out again so I can donate it to Locks of Love. The last thing I decided, is that this is going to be my last term in school for a while. I need a year off. I am not motivated anymore. I love school, I love being in school, but right now I am just not caring about it as much as I should, and I need a break. I am not sure what I want to do in this break, but time will come and I will know. I know that I will be working of course, but I have no idea where, or even what type of work.

Today is going to be a deep thought day, I apologize in advance if I seem distant to everyone. I am just in my own head today.

Thank you for supporting me in quitting my disgusting bad habit!

Second day of classes, and one is already canceled. Yoga wasn’t on today, so Pixi and I decided to go to Noah’s bagels and chow down instead. Since we had a good 2 hours until Physics started, we decided to sit in the park that no one knows about and people watch. We made up stories about everyone that passed us and after a while we could tell who had been in Seattle for a while, who lived at home with their parents, the tourists that got lost and ended up on Cap Hill, the high school students, and the people who were from out of town. It was great, and hilarious!

On the other hand, Chris taught me how to knit, and I decided that I probably won’t have time to knit now that school started. Ending result? Knit during class! I got a good 15 to 20 rows done today just in English (in between taking notes of course). I am actually excited about my classes, I think I may actually do my homework this term! I am taking Yoga, Physics, English 102, and Psychology 101.

Of course, now is the time where I have to brag about all the wonderful things I have done in this wonderful sunshine! The first day it was sunny, I went on a date on the beach and watched the sun set with a bottle of wine. It was really fab, and beautiful weather! The beach, the calm waters, the heat, the sand, the wine, and of course, and the person I was with.

The next day, we had a roommate bonding day. Christopher took us on the boat that he works on, and we went on a cruise of the Locks for free in the wonderful sunshine. After that, we went to a great restaurant, then to the Wooden Boat Center to go sailing on Lake Union. It was so calming and great, except I think I got a little sunburned. Monday was when school started, and it was so beautiful outside! Since it was the first day, I had no homework to do, so I went to the bookstore, got the Tao of Pooh, and read it cover to cover in the Cal Anderson Park. Again, I think I sunburned my sunburn.

Today, it was beautiful again, so after Pixi and I cleaning our gross house, then went to Cal Anderson again. I knitted while Pixi read, then we found a little place to get a bite to eat and we realized how NERDY we both are. We sat there the entire time arguing while eating and knitting (only me) on whether or not the menu’s were originally typed on a typewriter or not. It was just silly, really, but it seemed very important at the time. It got cold, and we got into a laughing fit about Bunnies and Boxes on the way home. Today really reminded me why I love Seattle so much. Dancing in the streets when I am the only one that can hear my music. Stopping to help a disabled man up the steps. Picking up that newspaper that was thrown aside without thinking about it or stopping conversation. Reading Tao books in the park. Talking about highly personal topics in highly public areas. Yelling at cars for causing gridlock. Then coming home and watching Footloose, and possibly sipping some booze.

This week has been amazing, and I have a feeling it is just going to keep getting better. This weekend may include some Pike’s Place Market, maybe some snowboardadge, possibly some sunshine, and most certainly: EPIC FUN!

P.S.
I highly recommend The Tao of Pooh. The author is a little full of himself, but the overall message is great. READ IT! It only takes about an hour, with taking breaks in between chapters to mull everything over and digest it.